EuroEnglish

The European Commision have just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, wich was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase in plan that would be known as EuroEnglish.

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jumps with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be a growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 % shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptance of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, wich have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"'s in the languag is disgrasful, and they should go away.

By the 4th yer, peopl wil be reseptiv to sptes such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be drop from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud, of kors, be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU !